Write drunk, edit sober. Hemingway and his words of broken-man wisdom. I want to write like a broken man. I want to write like a woman torn in two. I want to write like a soul dragged through hell and left at the feet of Saint Peter. I want to write like a mind rendered mad by the trials of life. I want to write like a beaten god, and a fallen angel. I want to write like there is a fever in me.
But. I do not want to be that broken vessel.
I want to be whole. I want to be innocent. I want to be free of the burdens of the earth and harsh reality. I want to be solid. I want to be stable. I want to be sober. I want to be sane. I want to be a heart unbroken and a mind unshattered. Remove the splinters of the days past. Be the child that only dreamed the nightmares I have lived. Let the dis-ease pass away.
I have been sober too long. I have been editing too long. I have lost sight of the glory of the madness and let it consume, rather than fuel me. Push, to be what they want. Push, to be what I think they want. Push. Fall. Let go. Be the madness, the master. Enslave the sanity.Stop letting them know what to expect.
