The Clearing

It has been some time since I have posted anything to this particular blog, and while I would like to say that I will be more diligent, there are many other projects also occurring. So, I make no promises. I also, want to offer some brighter news from the front lines.

While I do not feel elated by this, my son has been allowed the opportunity to live with his father for a few months. There is all manner of emotion about this. I miss him. He and I are a team. Even when my now ex husband was away so often, hell, even when he was around though not really “present”, the kid and I would adventure together. We have a unique bond that only children and full-time moms can create. He is my light and joy, and though he is a sarcastic teen now, we are still deeply connected.

So, I do miss his presence in the house, but he needs to see how his father really parents without me there. He also needs to see what is really going on in his father’s life, even if that means learning to understand how to now address a girl that the kid always viewed as an older sister. I am not certain if he will see her as a “mother” figure now, or if the relationship will simply be confusing.

My roommate, and woman who professed to be my “best friend” has also moved on. She has never had strong regard for my feelings in our relationship, and I fully accepted this when I asked her to move in with me. The offer was meant to help her find her heart again. It was a new hurt when she chose to befriend the family members of as well as the girl who so deeply scarred my life, but while unexpected, I suppose it is not altogether out of character.

I am happy that she has found joy in the relationship that I set her up with. I am concerned for her dog that does not seem to get out very much, but I am grateful to not have the constant worry that something is going to happen to the poor animal while in my home or yard.

Now, the real blessings, for me. I am no longer afraid to come home. For quite some time, especially after my son moved out, I felt like an outcast under my own roof. I felt that the classes I taught, the people that I invited in, were an annoyance to my roommate. I felt as though I was responsible for her unhappiness and I tried hard to for several months to suppress who I was in order to make her feel more comfortable.

The energy is so much clearer now though! I feel that I can breathe without worry. And, with a clear house comes a clear head, and renewed energy to make my life my own at last.

My home is open to all of the wonderful women who dance here. I am also thrilled to invite men and women who write for gatherings and sharing ideas. As things progress I will be opening the doors to do tarot readings and host open discussions on art, writing, and other subjects. I have a gallery wall to share with new artists looking to sell their work as well. The Red Tent nights are a monthly gathering that I created as a gift to my roommate, to make her feel more comfortable, that I never expected to find so much joy in even after her desire to attend had waned.

I feel as if I can breathe and that every breath brings more positive energy into my home. Please contact me if you find any of this enjoyable! My home is open to all positive energy!

Nomday: Tomato Soup and Egg Salad

It is way too hot in Arizona for soup! But, some of us work in frigid office buildings. Soups are cheap to make and easy for the body to burn. They are also a great way to get some veggies when grabbing a bag of chips or a hot dog seems so much easier. And, if you are really not into soup, well there is always a simple sandwich.

Easy Tomato Soup

2 14 ounce cans crushed tomatoes

1 packet onion soup mix

½ cup beef broth

Salt and pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients and simmer, stirring frequently. This is just as great served cold after cooked.

Egg Salad

6 hard boil eggs

¼ cup mayonnaise

2 tablespoons deli mustard

¼ red onion chopped

1 teaspoon crushed garlic

Salt and pepper to taste

Peel and chop eggs. Blend all ingredients in a large bowl.

Nomday: Apple Sausage with Onion Mustard

Apple Sausage with Onion Mustard

Approximate Cost: $20.00

Preparation Time: 15 minutes

Cook Time: 5 -7 hours

1 1/2 to 2 pounds chicken apple sausage links or similar smoked sausage

1 medium sweet onion, sliced

4 tablespoons Creole mustard or other grainy mustard

4 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

4 tablespoons brown sugar

3 tablespoons honey

Cut sausages into 1- to 2-inch chunks. Put sliced onion in the bottom of a slow cooker; top with sliced sausages. Combine remaining ingredients in a small bowl and pour over sausages. Cook on LOW for 5 to 7 hours.

Winter Garden Week Three

The gardening blogs are going to be rather uneventful for the next couple weeks I think. Nothing is sprouting just yet. There is not any real work to be done until something greeny starts popping out. Does anyone have any advice how to alleviate the tedium of waiting?

I was gifted with a few more seed pockets this week though. Thank you so much, Max! So, now I am pleased to announce, the victory garden will have spinach, oregano, chives, eggplant, and African daisies! This is all so very exciting and it makes me even less patient!

I did find out that while it is very convenient to water the garden from the kitchen sink spray nozzle, I will have to do some major soaking every now and again with the outdoor hose or the reserve water in the shed.

Maybe next week there will be some action to report. Until then I will continue to take my umbrella out in the moonlight and dance around the garden fence with my invisible garden gnomes!

Winter Yard and Garden Week One

After much procrastination and excuses, it is ready! The raised garden that I hope to add to our household’s security in case of zombie apocalypse is ready for seeds!

Arizona has horrible soil for just about anything to grow in so instead of relying on digging into the backyard, which also has an array of broken water systems under it, I built the garden plot on top of the hard ground. I also have the luxury of an abundance of decorative river rock covering a quarter of the yard. The river rock worked great to create a irrigation bed to lay the layers of soil on top of and to surround the garden plot. I am also so fortunate to have several leaf shedding trees surrounding the yard. The fruits of their decay litter the yard faster than I can usually dispose of it but it is great for a mulch layer on top of the rocks.

Now, I have a layer of tightly packed large rocks that allow water to run through, but not too fast. Above the rocks, a layer of mulchy plant to catch more water, and to decay into further nutrients for the next layer. Finally, store bought rich soil tops it all off. A low rock wall and a chicken wire frame to keep critters at bay surround all the layers. The next step is to wait a few days for the current layers to settle a bit before adding layer of my very happy compost, and a final layer of more soil. I may try to grow some plants as it sits now though, just to see if they take. I would really like to give the compost a bit more time to decompose and I really am trying t save money after the holidays.

Any seed suggestions for winter in Arizona?

Fall Yard and Gardening Day One

I am so grateful to have Frank helping in the complete overhaul of my yard into a functional raised garden and zombie apocalypse, preparedness zone. The goal is to have four garden boxes, a hanging plant awning, and a narrow herb garden by November, winter planting season in Arizona.

The compost is evolving wonderfully! It is turning into a bit of a habitat, which is much more than I expected. I assumed an open compost pile would attract flies and ants, but it did not cross my mind that the garden lizards that roam the yard would also get fat on the spoiled vegetation and the insects. I think we have the largest lizards in the development. The most difficult part of using an open plastic storage bin as compost in Arizona is the consistent need to water it. I save jugs of water in the shed in case of a not so rainy day, and typically have to pour six gallons every other week into the bin. The pile fortunately does not smell as bad as I expected from rotting vegetation. The most exciting part, I began with very little actual soil and now the tub is nearly full to the top with rich black dirt!

With a ten gallon tub of fresh made planting soil I need a place to use it. The ground in the yard is incredibly hard and not conducive to growing at all. Add to the soil issue, the former home owners installed a sprinkler system that has fallen into complete disrepair. Without large sums of money the system is neither going to be repaired or removed. So, I have a large hard surface that I cannot feasibly till into even if my compost is the natural born Miracle Grow. Time for higher thinking and rocks.

Yes, I have half a lawn filled with river rocks! I cannot stand to look at them there are so many. But, rocks are great for potted plant gardening. Placing rocks in the base of a pot allows the water to drain away from the dirt and not over saturate plants. Who needs a pot though when I have plenty of rocks! The plan: lay out a grid of rock bed rectangles. Each bed in this case is about five foot by seven foot. Once the bed is made we will place a fencing stake at each corner and frame the bed with chicken wire. I am not certain on height yet, maybe two feet. Six inches from the internal frame another stake and frame will stand. Now the fun part – use more river rock! Sandwiched in the wire walls we will stack more river rock and create a stone box to fill with compost, soil and tasty, tasty plants!

I am very excited to see this project finally coming together. Granted, Frank and I barely created a single bed of rocks this afternoon, but it is a start and I am proud of it.

Track Your Time

Track your time. For those who work a drone job in the nine-to-five world our hours are clocked, calculated and compensated. We know if we read that pay stub at the end of the pay period we will see tangible evidence of the energy expelled during that time. Time, our time, has a value, based upon an agreed standard between employee and employer. Is time, not tracked, worth as much? Is energy expelled and not monetarily rewarded still valuable? That is up to he who expelled the energy. So, are you worth it? In so many ways society tends to take for granted the labors of those who do not punch a clock.

When I was a full-time housewife and stay-at-home mother, I did not track the time it took to make meals, clean house, maintain finances, heal the sick, mend items, grocery shop, chauffer, and attend to the plethora of other tasks required. I wish now that I had. To have tangible evidence of just how much energy used in that time would be very motivating in the times when I feel I am not doing enough. In the grand scheme and purpose of the universe, it might be that was the most important job.

A few years ago, I began working for a small business owner. Kathy ran a thriving online storefront selling books and other items. She taught me the value of time. It was the first job I had ever had that demanded I demonstrate how I valued my energy. Kathy required that I track my hours at home as well as in the office (her home); how far I drove, how much money spent on supplies and how to save time and costs. She taught me that everything has value. As a small business, every penny counted. Kathy explained how an ounce and an inch can make a difference in the cost of shipping items out. She explained how she planned her driving to diminish second trips and unnecessary distance. I am grateful to Kathy for so many reasons but her value placed on time most of all.

Today, I apply the lesson Kathy taught to everything I involve myself in. I have a very basic spreadsheet that I open as soon as I turn my computer on in the morning and it is the last file to close before bed. I do not work ‘normal’ jobs. I do not receive monetary compensation all the time from all of my work, but it has a value. The volunteer work I perform for various groups and organizations is valuable to the events and projects they maintain. The housework I complete has value to my friends and family who live or visit with me. My writing hours may not pay off right now, but with dedication those hours may become the most valuable to me personally. I track the hours I put into dance and classes even outside the classroom or performance venue. All the behind the scenes hours count toward that final product the world has privilege to see. I am on the clock as I type this, because it cost something; time and energy! I will never gain back the time and energy, but somewhere, down the line I hope to gain compensation of some form.

Compensation, a word on that; recompense does not have to be monetary, though it is the intent that in some way the return will support my person and if possible my family and household. Much as an internship does not pay the student for work submitted, but in turn offers training in the field he is trying to enter into professionally, some reimbursement takes the form of information without monetary cost. On the flipside of information trade situation, I offer free rehearsal time for two hours every week in my home studio to my most dedicated students. The students receive a free lesson that is fast-paced and challenging. I receive stunning examples to display the work (students) my classes produce. It is advertising with no monetary cost. Trade is often the most profitable option in the current economy and often more valuable than the not so all mighty dollar. Trade, of goods or services, offers both parties the ability to give directly from their personal value system and for each to think about the value of the trade. Volunteer work offers the chance to leave our mark on events and projects and often free or low cost access to things we might not have otherwise been capable of affording. Energy is a resource we have personal command over and complete control over access.

Lack of compensation should be assessed with equal scrutiny! If you are spending more than you are making the system is not working. Do not devalue your work, doing so devalues the work of others in turn. In the years, I have done work with event planning groups I have discovered that emotion costs can get quite high. In tracking hours on a project I makes notes as to how much stress it caused and how much thanks I received. In cases where stress, drama and dealings with easily bruised egos over shadowed the gratitude I count the project as a loss. While I cannot regain lost energy any more than lost money, I can add value to the lesson if I make a promise to myself not to fall into that situation in the future. It only remains a loss if nothing is learned. Evaluate stress and drama in accordance with all parties involved however. Was it only on the part of the other that trouble occurred? This is part of the lesson. If a larger portion of the issues involved your approach, be assured it will happen again. If ultimately the projects that continue, or are projected, to cost more than the return, it may be time to let those projects go.

Over time, no matter how much energy is expelled in the learning process of gain and loss, at some point balance happens. Balance also does not last. Nothing is stagnant and that is good. I am constantly learning how to balance my time and energy budget; some years are better than others. There are projects I am still waiting for a return on. There are projects that ended in an unexpected deficit that the lesson will be the only recompense. There are more and more projects though, that even through trials and glitches have come out more profitable than anticipated. That is the best part of this process. There is no glass ceiling, unless I make one in my thinking. There is no getting fired only finding a position more suitable. The rewards are not always immediate or clear but no matter the debt left, it will be repaid. Always track your time and energy. This is your best method to view how much work you put out. It helps to make decisions concerning future projects. It helps to decide who to work with on the future projects you do decide to work on. It helps you see your faults in dealing with people and situations. Weeks, months, even years past, I have looked back at timesheets and laughed (or cried) at how naïve my view of a situation was.

This is the point I state my opinion; nine-to-five jobs are overrated and undercompensated. I like knowing that I earned the payment I received. I like learning how to make that compensation ever more profitable by learning through mistakes and adjustments in thinking. “Normal” jobs do not reward forward thinking nor educate based on poor judgment. “Normal” jobs punch the clock at a set pay rate the same for every person in the same rank; whether he stands in a space and breathes the air, or runs his mind and body through the motions feigning a hardworking attitude, or creates new ideas and methods, takes risks and makes choices that save the company time and money. This may be the primary reason most people feel the jobs they are in are soul-sucking moments that they will never get back.

I am not making oodles of money, nor do I live a great big house on the hill, but with effort I know I could and that is the most important point. The time and energy that I put into a project, overtime, will multiply to equal success in however I envision success. As housewife and mother, I envision my success as a happy comfortable, welcoming home; an intelligent, polite and healthy family. As business woman, I envision success as making the next year earn more than it cost. As a dancer, I have well educated, confident students. As a writer, I have words I am proud to share with others. In event planning, I am pleased most with an event that covered its costs and allowed other and myself to experience enjoyment. Money is wonderful, but success is not only measured in dollar signs. I live in a comfortable happy household, the people around me are typically entertained and never bored, I go to sleep every night blissfully exhausted, and eager for the next day’s games. And it is, as so often I say in other subjects as well, all just a game. It is all about the Monopoly Money and when the game is over, all the pieces are returned to the box no matter how much anyone compiled during the course of the game.

The items listed in Kathy’s store serve a value lesson as well; all of the items are cast offs scavenged from estates and secondhand stores. Everything has a value to someone and you should be the most valuable item on your list. Please, check out Kathy’s stores and my stores and classes on writing and bellydance. I am, of course, a fan of fair trade for most items, services and lessons. Please, do not hesitate to make a deal!

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www.ioffer.com/stores/thekatsmeowstore

www.amazon.com/80sixed

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