A Very Exciting and Uplifting October

October could be the busiest month so far for me. I am excited, and nervous because I really want to see my classes and events grow. I want to be able to help people with the alternative self care that I offer. I am excited to share some of the amazing events I have planned for the month! There is always time for private bellydance lessons, bellydance gigs and parties, tarot readings in person and online, and of course I am always writing and working on new and exciting projects. Please contact me soon to book for October, November and the Holiday Season! Thank you so much!

October Madness!
Tarot Readings
Metro Center Mall
Mondays, 10am - 9pm
Tuesdays, 10am - 6pm

Bellydance
Foothills Aquatic Center
Tuesdays, 7:10pm - 8:10pm

Bellydance
Rio Vista Recreation Park
Wednesdays, 7:30pm - 8:30pm

Creative Writing
Avondale Recreation Center
Thursdays, 5:30pm - 6:30pm

Bellydance
Avondale Recreation Center
Thursdays, 7pm - 8pm

Tarot Classes
Metro Center Mall
Saturdays, 12pm - 1:30pm

Trolls Book Release
October 6th

Automotive Basics (Ladies Only)
Rio Vista Recreation Center
Saturday 11th & 18th, 9am - 11:30am

Bellydance Workshop (FREE)
Evolve Studio
Friday 17th, 6:30pm - 7:30pm

Red Tent Night (Donations Accepted)
House of Rainbows & Awesome
Thursday 23rd, 6pm - 10pm

Artizona Festival
Sunday 26th, 10am - 4pm

The Clearing

It has been some time since I have posted anything to this particular blog, and while I would like to say that I will be more diligent, there are many other projects also occurring. So, I make no promises. I also, want to offer some brighter news from the front lines.

While I do not feel elated by this, my son has been allowed the opportunity to live with his father for a few months. There is all manner of emotion about this. I miss him. He and I are a team. Even when my now ex husband was away so often, hell, even when he was around though not really “present”, the kid and I would adventure together. We have a unique bond that only children and full-time moms can create. He is my light and joy, and though he is a sarcastic teen now, we are still deeply connected.

So, I do miss his presence in the house, but he needs to see how his father really parents without me there. He also needs to see what is really going on in his father’s life, even if that means learning to understand how to now address a girl that the kid always viewed as an older sister. I am not certain if he will see her as a “mother” figure now, or if the relationship will simply be confusing.

My roommate, and woman who professed to be my “best friend” has also moved on. She has never had strong regard for my feelings in our relationship, and I fully accepted this when I asked her to move in with me. The offer was meant to help her find her heart again. It was a new hurt when she chose to befriend the family members of as well as the girl who so deeply scarred my life, but while unexpected, I suppose it is not altogether out of character.

I am happy that she has found joy in the relationship that I set her up with. I am concerned for her dog that does not seem to get out very much, but I am grateful to not have the constant worry that something is going to happen to the poor animal while in my home or yard.

Now, the real blessings, for me. I am no longer afraid to come home. For quite some time, especially after my son moved out, I felt like an outcast under my own roof. I felt that the classes I taught, the people that I invited in, were an annoyance to my roommate. I felt as though I was responsible for her unhappiness and I tried hard to for several months to suppress who I was in order to make her feel more comfortable.

The energy is so much clearer now though! I feel that I can breathe without worry. And, with a clear house comes a clear head, and renewed energy to make my life my own at last.

My home is open to all of the wonderful women who dance here. I am also thrilled to invite men and women who write for gatherings and sharing ideas. As things progress I will be opening the doors to do tarot readings and host open discussions on art, writing, and other subjects. I have a gallery wall to share with new artists looking to sell their work as well. The Red Tent nights are a monthly gathering that I created as a gift to my roommate, to make her feel more comfortable, that I never expected to find so much joy in even after her desire to attend had waned.

I feel as if I can breathe and that every breath brings more positive energy into my home. Please contact me if you find any of this enjoyable! My home is open to all positive energy!

In the Wings

As the emergence continues, the pattern of the wings begins to take shape. The image is not clear, but the colors grow brighter, less muddied in the light of the sun. The antennae twitch in search of what awaits.

How many can say they have known a friend for more than twenty years? How many can say they have been a friend for even half that time? I wrote on the falling apart of my marriage and some friendships last time, this time I want to focus on that which is sprouting from the wreckage.

As I prepare to take over care and payments on a house that I once shared with my husband of nearly sixteen years, I realize I do not want to do this on my own. I am independent, I enjoy my space, I have experienced stretches of time where I raised my son alone, but I do not want to right now. I need an ally. As events would have it, I am given one.

She is my dearest friend and trusted companion, a woman who experienced the daily and the strange in my life. Our paths have been similar before, even when not divergent. This though is a new trail the Universe has blazed and wants for us to travel side by side.

In May, her marriage too began to crumble away. She at first thought to try to make it on her own in a new state, a new place, somewhere away from the hurt she experienced. I realized, that this should be a sign. Through much discussion and the advice of others, we are moving to help one another.

At the end of January I will fly once more to Central New York to join her. Together we will make the drive that I made fourteen years before. The first time, my husband, small child and two cats made the drive in four days to start a new life. Now, my best friend, her young dog and I will attempt to make the trip in three days or less.

I am excited. I am terrified. I am intrigued by the timing. Our new adventure will begin as the Chinese year of the horse opens and we will find ourselves in Arizona as the Spring of that new year blooms. What does it mean?

Too many things have aligned in these last few months to be coincidence. Lay it on me Universe! I am ready!

A New Adventure Begins as the Scars from the Last are Revealed

So, here it is. The emergence of the butterfly. She knows not yet how to fly, but her wings are beginning to unfurl. In less obscure language, I am finally coming out of the dark place that was my life and finding something new and amazing on the other side.

About a month after I finally came clean with myself that my emotions were having a serious effect on my physical well-being my husband of fifteen years, my high school sweetheart, my first real love, the father of my son, announced that he was leaving me. If that stab was not enough, the reason; the twenty-year-old girl who used to babysit my son, a girl I basically raised and also trained as a dancer.

I knew. I knew for more than two years that there was something between them. I am no innocent. But, with projects, and goals, and writing, dance, plans, and yes, a side romance of my own, I made nothing of it. I never considered for a moment that this side dish would develop into something bigger.

She is younger than me, sure. She is cute and is comfortable and willing to dress in clothing that makes boys go all ga-ga. But, she has zero life experience, was still living with her mother. She had traveled little, and studied less. Her conversational skills are still that of a teenager. My son could outwit her. So, of course, I thought, let the man have his side dish. I am still his partner, his equal. Yeah. I was wrong.

They had sex in my bed. More than once. I asked them not to. They continued. While I was on my internship and away more often than not, she had essentially moved into my home. She had sent text messages to my husband saying she was “miffed” at me for taking time away from her. She told people I was no longer reliable. She posted comments and pictures of the two of them together. Other people I rarely spoke to confronted me about these public postings. She would offer me one hand, and yet continue actions to strike me with the other.

I gave in to my emotions. I attempted to take my life. I ended up in the hospital for psychiatric evaluation.

I tried. For a few months, I tried to stay connected to this girl I mentored, stood up for, gave every opportunity to. Then, the waves of negative energy crashed. I could not be in the same room with this girl. I was angry. She told me I allowed all of this to happen. It was my fault. I should have seen it coming. The disappointing thing; I did see it coming. Rather I felt it.

I have always been sensitive to the emotions of others. I have always had an inkling as to where the threads of fate might lead. Because of who she was to me though, I ignored it. Why would someone I had given so much to want to take from me? Why would betrayal have ever crossed her mind?

Because the end game really is all about lessons. What have I learned from this? My trust was shaken to the core. What I understood about myself was that I can give and give and trust abundantly. Eventually, someone will take advantage. I also learned the painful lesson that sometimes it is best not to offer the benefit of the doubt when so many others are telling you that a person is toxic.

What has this offered me? A chance to start over. A chance to cut away the emotional dross. Allowance to say “no more”! I can see the people who truly love me, support me, need me in their lives as I need them in mine. From here I can make room for balanced relationships with strong, driven people, including the man who supported me through the publishing of my first book, my first stage shows, my internship, my growth in the art and geek community. Thank you Danna-sama.

As I shake off my old story I will continue to write the adventures of the new. I do not know the “how” of finding my new path, but have trust and support to take whatever comes.

The Return of Nomday: Exciting News

Do you remember when I used to do this little thing called Nomday, every Monday? It was this fun little post with a nice simple recipe for the work week. Remember? Yeah, and there were often cute stories about how silly I got when making the dish, or how I discovered something new and exciting in the world of cooking. Yes. And, sometimes I would even post delectable pictures of each dish.

Then, my one year internship really got rolling and I totally failed at blogging. So, to make up for this horrible blogger behavior I bring you; the new and improved Nomdays 2.0!

Starting next week there will be more pictures, more detailed recipes, the history behind some of these crazy foods and even more silly stories of my kitchen mayhem! Don’t worry, I will stick to the simple stuff most of the time and I will even play with a few vegetarian meal ideas like before. I am not promising this part, but I even hope to have a few guest bloggers post some of their favorite recipes.

It is like the surface of the sun here is Arizona, but it is about to get even hotter as I dare to dive back into blogging and especially Nomdays!

As always, I really want to thank everyone who reads, comments and shares my posts. I do take requests too. Maybe there is something you have been wanting to try, or something you think I could make into a more simplistic recipe; let me know about it. Also, if you are a blogger who likes to chatter about recipes, please contact me, I would be thrilled to offer you a guest pass to the madness. And, if you know me personally and you would like to supply the goods for a Nomday experiment, please feel free! The payback will be half of the finished dish and your name in lights (okay, bold and italicized text) on that Nomday post.

I am just a small time writer and mom with very little skill in the realm of cooking, but I do have a love for good food, gatherings with friends, and low budget meals. Until, next week! Happy Nomday!

For Impact Friday! Something new: Public Allies

This is something new I am trying out since joining and finally getting comfortable in Public Allies. With all of the wonderful 501c3 organizations I am honored to work alongside I really wanted to make mention of them to my readers. I suppose I should start with an explanation of the Public Allies and how you can get involved too. 

The Public Allies program was added to the Lodestar Center for Philanthropy and Nonprofit Innovation at ASU in 2006. Since then it has engaged many young professionals and students in social change and work with “for impact” companies. 

While this is the reason why my writing work may suffer for a ten month stretch (August thru June, in my case) it is so going to be worth it in the end. I am learning so much about organizations here in Phoenix area and even more about how nonprofit companies function. The website says most of the allies are between 18 and 30, so I am a bit old for this game, but I am enjoying every minute and it is nice to be around so many young people so interested in hard work toward change for very little payment. Hey, there is a stipend, but it isn’t about the money for this group. 

It is about learning, sharing, caring and growing. I have to say that even though I am a bit more on in years than the others in the group I am not going to say I am as much more mature. These young people are dedicated, responsible, intelligent and driven. It really is a nice shift from some circles I have run in the past. 

If you are interested in becoming an Ally and experiencing this stunning opportunity for learning and connecting, or if you are part of a nonprofit organization interested in bringing an Ally on board please contact;

Public Allies Arizona
Arizona State University Lodestar Center for Philanthropy & Nonprofit Innovation
University Center - Mail Code 4120
411 N. Central Ave., Suite 500
Phoenix, Arizona 85004-0691

publicallies@asu.edu

602-496-0427

Rio Vista: Week Five – Tunak Tunak Tun

Congratulations Rio Vista ladies! You made it! Okay, well not quite; next week we will put it all together for the first time from beginning to end! 

While you anxiously await next week’s class, consider how far you have come since the start of session. Think of all the new moves you are capable of executing. Think of how much better your posture is. And think of how comfortable you are with this song.

So, until next week, ladies, review, relax, and get ready to tighten up the technique and clean up the combinations!

See you next week! Thank you so much ladies!

Foothills: Week One – Drum Plus

Thank you to the seven stunning students and one little follower signed up for the Fall 2012 session at Foothills Aquatic Center! I am excited to have three returning dancers as well as some new faces. Interested students are still welcome to join us in week two; we have five open spaces.

This session is all about fun, freedom and high energy! Drum Plus is a traditional drum piece that introduces students to Middle Eastern rhythms. The length of the song – just over two minutes – makes it a bit easier for beginners to tolerate the high velocity tempo. 

Belly dance took on many forms as it crossed borders; this session works to return to the classic styles of Egypt. Hips are queen in this choreography! Accents of head and arm movements help include the full body. A blending of sharp and fluid combinations and a repetitive beat make this song easy and fun to learn. 

Choreography for Drum Plus does not belong to me originally. Badrea Talua was not my first instructor but she is, to me, my dance mama. While I have added some new accents and updates the dance still primarily belongs to Badrea, as does my dance heart.

I am very excited to be teaching this dance once again and thrilled to have some great students! Thank you so much! See you soon!

Fitness: Crunch Yoga Review

I decided about two weeks ago to get back into yoga. Now that I am writing and sitting more my back and legs have some seriously unhappy days. This is absolutely helping. I am not a fan of purchasing media but I hope to make up for that by putting the word out about how much I like, or in some cases, dislike the pieces found on Netflix or online.

The Crunch series has several videos in a panorama of workouts. Candlelight Yoga is one of the mellow choices. Released in 2002 and currently available on Amazon and Amazon Instant video , I found it on Netflix. The 45 minute workout and yoga instruction is appropriately listed as beginner/ intermediate.

Sara Ivanhoe began instructing in the practice of yoga in 1995 and is noted as certified in Yoga Philosophy and Ecology. Her voice is incredibly soothing throughout the video adding to the relaxing ideals in the program. Sara’s methods and explanations are grounded and fun too. How many yogis do you know that would explain the yoga breath as Darth Vader-like?

I am not incredibly flexible, nor do I desire to train my body to be a pretzel. Seriously, what is the point unless training to be a circus artist? I wanted something with a reasonable time and without the requirement of being a Vedic in training. Throughout the video Sara explains each movement and the breathing that should accompany it. She makes suggestions as to how to make the moves less stressful for those with minimal flexibility or balance. The musical ambiance was appropriate without making me feel as though I should don some prayer beads, and the colors of the setting and the clothing of the people in the video were calming.

The only complaint, or maybe more aptly, caveat I have about this video is the opening. The standard Crunch series theme and image montage is jarring. If possible, mute your television or computer speakers. Watch for the first images of Sara and her students to appear before turning on the sound again.

This is a quality yoga instruction for beginning basics, lunch breaks, or centering. I didn’t break a sweat, pull anything or get completely lost and confused. It takes less than an hour, minimal space and no special clothing or equipment.

Remember, drink lots of water, never over do it, and everything takes practice.

AdeebA Korsana Bellydance Classes:

Mondays, 6:00PM (Home Studio, Glendale)

Tuesdays, 7:00PM (Home Studio, Glendale)

Wednesdays, 6:30PM (Rio Vista Recreation Center, Peoria)

Fridays, 5:30PM (Foothills Aquatic Center, Glendale)